Marriage Fundamentals

Marriage, like a house is built. It does not just fall from the sky. A home does not just happen. When you want to build a house, an architect is engaged to design the house according to your specification. In marriage, it is important to begin with the end in mind. After every wedding comes a marriage. Many people focus on the wedding which is only a series of events. After that, the real activity begins. Determine ahead of time, what kind of marriage you want and then develop a blueprint. While preparing for marriage, it is vital that you pray together a lot so you can download God's blueprint or revelation for your marriage. Revelation is the rock on which a Christian builds his or her home. This solid foundation helps each home to withstand the inevitable storms of life. The raw material used in building is wisdom. Marriage demands commitment from each party. Divorce is not an uncommon thing. However, as Christians, we must not me in a hurry to pack up our marriage. If you do not have the capacity to last the distance, don't venture into marriage in the first place. 

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE is one of the fundamental requirements of a successful marriage. Unconditional love is not dependent on your spouse's actions, looks or sexual ability. You love the person inspire of who they are because, by the help of the Holy Spirit, you have the capacity for this kind of love. One of the basic characteristics of unconditional love is giving or more appropriately, sacrifice. Forgiveness is another characteristic which should be developed before you go into marriage because there is no perfect spouse anywhere. A home cannot be built on selfishness, hatred and uncontrolled anger. 

COMMUNICATION is the second fundamental requirement for a successful marriage. Marriage is 85% communication. If something goes wrong with communication, something will go wrong with practically every other aspect of the marriage. Words can build or destroy. The quality of a home cannot be better than the quality of the words spoken in it. Withhold judgement because it kills vulnerability. Your spouse needs someone to open up to without being judged. Listening with empathy is a critical communication skill we need to develop. Take your spouse's temperament into consideration when you are communicating with them. In communicating, humour, humour is good for marriage. Learn to laugh over matters instead of always getting upset. 

Remember to pray especially when you are angry, you will get a revelation that will help you resolve the the issue instead of being motivated to take a wrong action. 

Sam Adeyemi

Daystar Christian Centre.